DLD Awareness Day: Nicole Bateman chats with Tamara Holland

In this episode of Conversations with a SEND Mum, Nicole Bateman is joined by Tamara Holland from Dot and Stripe Marketing to raise awareness for Developmental Language Disorder (DLD) on DLD Awareness Day. Tamara, a passionate advocate and parent of a child with DLD, shares her personal journey and the challenges of navigating life with a diagnosis that is often misunderstood or overlooked.

Key Highlights:

• What is DLD?: Tamara breaks down what Developmental Language Disorder is, explaining how it affects children’s ability to understand and use language, and why it’s often misdiagnosed or confused with other learning differences.
• Tamara’s Journey: Tamara discusses her experience as a parent of a child with DLD, from the early signs and diagnosis to advocating for support in education and daily life. She emphasises the importance of early intervention and understanding the unique needs of children with DLD.
• Raising Awareness and Creating Change: Nicole and Tamara talk about the importance of raising awareness for DLD, especially on days like DLD Awareness Day, to ensure that children with this condition receive the support and recognition they deserve. Tamara also shares tips for parents and educators on how to help children with DLD thrive.

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Transcript

2:08

Hello and welcome to Conversations with an SEND Mum with me as your host, Nicole Bateman. Today I am joined by Tamara Holland and she is an amazing mum and also a marketing specialist so, hello, nice to meet you. Hello. Thank you for having me. That's all right. Can I ask you first of all, what is your connection to the SEND community? Yes, absolutely. Please. So I have a daughter who is called Esme, she is just turned eight, and we've just recently found out that she has a condition called DLD, which stands for developmental language disorder. Why they make acronyms so difficult to pronounce, I'll never know. Absolutely. And so, you know, so you've quite recently, how, how recently did you. Well, the process for Esme has really been going on since she was quite small. I think as a parent, I could see that she was quite different to her peers. And in that, Even from being kind of a preschooler toddler, she, her peers were really interested in what's this or what's that color or what's that word mean or doing the alphabet or counting to 10 and Esme just wanted to play, she wasn't interested in learning. If she were trying to turn it into a game, she spotted it immediately. She was not convinced. And it never really kind of came up through nursery. But as we were going into school, it became more, we became more aware of it because Esme didn't want to sit and participate in like formal learning. She just wanted to carry on playing her games and had a great imagination. And, and she had a little bit of kind of challenges with pronouncing words. She would. Do some of the kind of cute mixing up of words. So one of the great ones for us was she used to say cool horse rather than unicorn. Because to her it was a really cool horse. So she would just find, she would struggle to find the words for things and she would also often struggle with So people that she'd known for ages, she would struggle to find the name. So great example. She wanted to go and stay at my mom's house and to her nannies. So she said, can you ask your mom if I can go for a sleepover? She couldn't find the word in her mind for nanny or grandma. So there was just lots of little things that kept adding up and we kept pushing with school saying that we're trying to read with her. It just ended in tears. She loved being read too. She loves anything creative, but if it was to sit down and do maths or reading, absolutely no way. And then we started to get a bit of apprehension about going to school and being dropped off and then it didn't help that this then fell into COVID times, so we then had to go into Zoom learning and it just was a disaster for her. There was just no way for her to focus. And it really then kind of couple of years went by of lots of backwards and forwarding and she we got a call from the school to say, look, we're going to add Esme to the SEN list at school. And we all shouted, brilliant, this is great. But why? None, none of us could explain why even school found that tricky. So kind of then I did a bit of research. Pushed for an educational psychologist to visit the school. That was really helpful, but again, didn't give us like a formal diagnosis or a kind of pathway. So school at that point decided to pursue writing her EHCP for us. And so this was over a year ago now went to get some support thinking she might be dyslexic and the dyslexia assessor was so helpful. And I'm really lucky. We've got a neighbor who's an occupational therapist. So she pointed us to this lady. She actually said, look, don't spend your money with me just yet. Go and have a full speech and language assessment. And maybe consider DLD, which we hadn't heard of. Then the speech and language assessment, as new as a textbook case of DLD. And basically the more we're learning about it, it's so fascinating. It affects effectively two in every class of 30 children. And so it's more common than any other neurodivergent condition, but. It's really hard to pinpoint because it can come across as seeming like, well, it might be dyslexia, or it could be that she's ADHD, or she might be autistic. And it's effectively where children have difficulties understanding or using spoken language. So, I like to describe it for Esme as if somebody speaking basic, you've got a basic level of German and you go to Germany and someone speaks fluently back at you in their native language and you can pick up some of the words and then you've got to kind of catch up whilst they're still carrying on talking and you're five minutes behind all the time and that's what language is like for her. So, being sat in a classroom. The teacher giving lots and lots of instructions then having to try and document those or keep up with what's being said. Then you've got to think of the answer when they're already on to question three. So she's always kind of catching up all of the time. So it's been really an interesting few months for her because since we had her DLD diagnosis, we've had a speech and language NHS referral, which was catching up with us. And we have literally just this last week found out that she has been accepted for her EHCP. So we're a positive news story. I suppose because it's taken a lot of a lot of research, a lot of advocating for her, but we've had huge support. As well from our school, which I feel like we're, when I was saying to you earlier, we're, we're a bit of an exception to the rule of some of the stories that we hear. Yeah, but that's great. That's great. We want more exceptions to the rule. We want it to be the norm, the way that, that your process has gone, where yes, you still have to do all that advocating all of that. But it's been accepted and you have that support from your school, which is great. And that's the way it should be. Yeah, I think school were very much like us, they, they've all known, Esme is, is so positive, so happy, and I do put a lot of the fact she loves going to school down to the, the team that she works with her, they are absolutely amazing. If I was her, I don't think I would be as positive, you know, if learning to you is very inaccessible and as she's kind of hitting eight and she's becoming a bit more self aware. She just wants to be like all of her peers. And she said to me a couple of times, she has red hair as well. And she said to me, Why do I have to have two things that are different about me? They just want to fit in, don't they? They want, they want to conform. And I was like, conforming is boring. Like, Esme has amazing ideas. She's so creative. She loves being read too. And she's a great friend. She's so empathetic. She picks up on emotional cues way better than anybody else I know. She knows. if someone's frustrated or sad before they even admit it themselves. The teachers adore her, she's got lots of friends at school and actually that was a big concern for us because it can be quite difficult to form friendships and keep up with conversations if you have DLD. She has a lots of, of boy friends and I think it's because boys talk a lot less than girls. That is true, they just play. Yeah, they just want to be dinosaurs or, play shops and, and girls are a bit more, now they're getting a bit older, they're a bit more worried about makeup and boys and I don't know, they're talking absolute nonsense. And Esme's like, I can't keep up. But she's got friends. that understand and advocate for her as well, really well at school. And yes, as I say, school are a huge help. I think what's really helped as well is last year our school also added an SEN hub into the school. So they bought non mainstream children into the school. So the, the level of support has just gone up even more and that's growing. So it's, it's It is a scary time as we feel sometimes that we're in a bit of a bubble in our primary that, you know, we're in year four now, the, the secondary word keeps popping up. Yeah, I don't know, my son's in year four as well and you're like, oh, there's only two years left. But I feel like now having, obviously we don't have that EHCP in our hand just yet, but it's like having that. Ticket to the Oasis gig that everybody wants. We're at the front of the queue now. And and actually I think it gives you as a parent that extra power to advocate even more for them, I think. And because we've done a lot of research and we found some great resources. So there's RADLD, which are called Raise Awareness of Developmental Language Disorders. There's lots of resources from them. And a FACIC, who support families who have speech and language and communication needs. Anna Fasik did a free parent training and so across seven weeks, it was really great to go and meet other parents and we was talking about how we feel like we're very much an exception to the rule because some of the parents within that, that course were really struggling and fighting for their child's needs. And some of them. Well, didn't have EHGPs or weren't accepted. Some of them had other challenges. Some of them were being bullied. Some were not able to go into mainstream school and. To hear that and I just feel it could so easy have been so different for Esme and, and like that comes with guilt as well for other parents. So I, I think it's so important to share that there are positive sides to the journey as well. Definitely. Yeah. We've got to, because that's the hope that's hope for all of us to get that support for our kids. And, the systems. need to change and, but there are positive stories of getting that support. So it's good to hear them as an encouragement to others even those that right now, feeling that frustration that they're not getting that support, there is hope for, some of those situations And there are people out there who want to help. And so obviously the main frustration for us was that we did have to pay privately for Esmee's speech and language assessment. So we wouldn't have had her diagnosis if we hadn't done that. It was. 500 pounds compared to some thousands of which I've had people paying for support. But We wouldn't have been as far along our journey if we hadn't have done that And I think one of the reasons we really wanted to push is because there's these younger brothers started school now in september 2024 and they He is older, joining school. He's also an educational sponge. He loves learning. He wants, and I feel there will be a point where he will academically go past her in the next year or so. So I think for us, I think it's also really helped her advocate for herself and the funny thing, the funny story I tell is that she always calls it ALD rather than DLD and it's funny that's a speech and language condition and she can't say it right. It's a bit like why do they have dyslexia as a really complicated word to spell. Exactly, yeah. Can recognize that it's because I've had DLD. Yeah, it isn't you know, but she's just different to everybody else yeah, the really key things are finding out now for her as well Is that early identification for DLD is so important because if you could have a really supportive environment that understands DLD. You can go on to hugely succeed in life and it's so much, it's much more common than autism, for example, but it's so. It's not understood. I know teachers that didn't know what it was. I was teaching for 11 years. I didn't know what it was when I was teaching. And so I think it's so important to raise that awareness and see that. There are, just like any condition, there is different levels and abilities that come with it. Some of the tools, the common signs for Esme were following instructions she found really difficult. Yeah. Word finding as I mentioned before so even now she struggles a bit. And sometimes she can, Be speaking quite quickly and trying to catch up with herself sometimes and mispronunciation of words. So like crisps rather than crisps and, and when they're younger, that's like, Oh, that's really cute. Isn't it? When they say that and then you're like, Oh, okay, she's, she's eight and she'll say crisps. Sometimes social difficulties, like keeping up with games. If there's lots of instructions, it makes sense, doesn't it? Definitely. She's never had poor behavior, but listening was always difficult. She's very fidgety and struggles a bit with sensory needs, but that's been explained as a bit of a, a coping mechanism for her because it's a way to process that information and some of the things that we found that have really helped her, we have a visual timetable, so she would quite often say. What's next meaning what's happening tomorrow and she struggles with concept of time So if you say oh, we've got so and so's birthday party on Saturday She'll think that's tomorrow and so you have been a visual timetable and that we hadn't made Especially for her where we have, you know, it's Monday's school, Tuesday's PE. We have beavers and guitar and swimming. And at school they do a one for the day as well. The key things that work incredibly well for children with DLD is, is visuals. So anything visual pictures, explaining what's happening, an ability to draw what she's thinking rather than write it. And patience and time. Yeah. short instructions rather than, could you go and hang your coat up over there and go and put your lunch bag away? Put, hang your coat up over there and, and I have to kind of control myself doing that. Sometimes you walk through the door, put this here, do that. Otherwise it's just, yeah, they can't, they can't process. Yeah. Multiple instructions. Yeah. Pre teaching has worked really well. So she gets to go in at 8. 30 most mornings and they call it Spelling Club, but I think for Esme, she gets a little bit more of a kind of finding out word banks of what's going to be taught for the day. And so she's already. Feeling a bit further ahead. She's not catching up. Repetition and checking understanding works really well for her. And now they're starting to introduce more specs. Speech to text tools for her. So she's getting to use her laptop. So she can express her ideas in other ways because she can't really read or write not to the same ability as her peers anyway. She will get really frustrated. Whereas she's got incredible ideas. She's incredibly artistic and she is, She's great at kind of imaginary play. They've also allowed her at certain points to record her ideas with voice. We tried a reading pen, but she wasn't that engaged with it. I think it's a little bit too slow for her sometimes. And weirdly, the reading pen can read in English or French. I don't know why. They'll also introduce things like now and next for her. And also sentence starters, like writing frames. So, I think X because Y. Paired work, so she's now pretty much got somebody working with her. One to one on a lot of the key topics, key subjects at school, she gets brain breaks at school. So they get to, she comes out of the classroom to have a bit of a brain break and, or they introduce games with her. So they've been doing the teaching assistant was saying they were throwing the ball into hoop and shouting letters. And so she thinks this is great fun, but equally important for her. Oh, they've, they've also put her at the front of the class. Yeah. And she has special seating arrangement fidgets and lots of reduced background noise where they can for her. It looks, it sounds like, this school, is amazing, putting all of these things in place. And this needs to be in every, school, the way that they're, they're catering for her there. Yeah, that sounds really good. I think we've been so lucky. We tell them all the time as well. I think, if you have got that support then just thank them because it sounds so good. It's a bit more rare than definitely, yeah, for sure it is, but it shouldn't be there for any, and when schools do that, it shows that it can be done. So therefore, it can be done in other places as well. And kids can thrive you know, if they have that right support in place, because making things accessible. It's something that just should be done. It shouldn't be a extra add on. It should be, no, we need to make sure everyone has learning accessible for them and, and put in place. So, that's so good. It is DLD awareness day, isn't it? It is on Friday the 18th of October, so it was perfect timing to do this, and it's run by RADLD, the charity, which is R A D L D dot org. If you wanted to find out more, and they have an official hashtag as well, which is hashtag DLD day. And it's it's all about raising awareness because it's such a nobody knows about it and actually Once you start to learn Like now, Esme, it's textbook D& D, and now I see it. I would never have known and I think particularly teachers or people working with children, it's, it's really important to consider because I think it's just with, with schools are particularly falling into the, it's probably ADHD or autism or dyslexia. They are the kind of three common themes that seem to pop up. What I've loved as well about school is that they've really pushed to understand it and educate themselves as well. So we're all learning together. I mean, we are, we're all winging it. It's what we do. We just got, we're thrown into, you know, whatever. And then we're like, right, let's research that. Let's work out how we can best support our kids. Cause you know, that's what we do, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I think as me, as she gets older, she's going to be great at advocating for herself as well. It makes me happy that in the, her future, there's so much technology. It's just that academics, it's, we're still way behind where we should be. And yeah, someone said, Oh, once she turns, And it's off into the world. I'm like, Oh, she's, she's got another 10 years to go struggling then. Okay. Come on. Yeah. But that's the thing, isn't it? There is that technology which gives that hope and you just, you know, you hope that some of that technology can be used, well, I mean, some of it is with the text to speech to text, which is good. And then that should be again, part of the usual. Support if a child needs it, that actually, you know, not say, you know, this people be like, Oh, but you know, we don't write that much. We were just saying we don't actually write that much in real life. We type on the computer or we, you know, and things like that. So actually speech to text and different other apps and things like that can help. Then why not use them? Yeah. I think my biggest worry. For her more than academic is that she could be quite easily manipulated cause she takes things quite literally. And I think being able to recognize and advocate for herself in that way and say like, a great example is somebody had said, don't play with that person, play with me. So she then said, okay, I'm like, no, you don't have to do that. You can do what you want to do. So it's just. Being able to recognize sarcasm, or understanding a comprehension of language and Also for us trying to use less words and speak less quickly, which is tricky in a household with other children in it. Yeah, definitely. See, thank you so much for sharing. You know, there's a lot of information there that I'm sure a number of people listening wouldn't. Wouldn't know so it's it's definitely something and I it's amazing. I can't believe it's yeah, it's more common it's one of the most common neurodivergent conditions. So yeah, yeah, that's I didn't know that mad It's seven point six percent of children in primary schools. Oh Yeah. Yeah. So and I wonder how many are actually Diagnosed, yeah. Probably not many. No. But yeah, it basically means two in every class or 30. Yeah. So then, you know, it's thinking about how we, how we do those instructions. I mean for my son, we, because of his You know, altered brain activity because of the epilepsy that, you know, his cognition, his memory, his processing, all of those things are impacted. So we also, do similar things that now with the visuals, with the one step instructions. Otherwise it's just too much to process and, and all of those things. So I think a lot of those strategies as well, will help kids across. Many neurodivergent kids that would, those strategies would really help. So if we can implement them both at home and in the classroom, then that's going to benefit a lot of kids. So if someone's listening and they're like, Oh, DLD, actually, that sounds very like my kid. Where would you, what would you, One of the, the very first places I went was to a YouTube video after we were told, and it was, I think it was by Raddod, and it was a story, I think it was a little girl called Darcy, and it made me cry, I'll just pre warn you, because it was a little girl who was sat watching a teacher talk, and, All that the teacher was saying was confusing, confusing, confusing, confusing, confusing. And the child looked confused. And then the teacher looked cross because the little girl wasn't listening. And then she went into the playground and children were talking to her and they were saying something like rules, rules, rules, rules, rules, rules. And again, she looked confused. And that. For me was a huge shock as a parent to go, but is that what life is like for her? And. Obviously that's an extreme version of it, but it really gave me so much more empathy and understanding. So that led me into finding more out at, through RADLD, so R A D L D dot org. Aphasic, which is, The speech and language communication needs charity. There's also speech and language UK who have lots of resources. There isn't a great deal on platforms like Instagram or TikTok. I think it will come because it's, I think that DLD used to be called something else. I can't quite remember what it was now. So it's still quite a. A misunderstood, not much understanding of it, but I think that will come like as each generation will be probably on TikTok talking about it, you know, that'll be. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so definitely, share this podcast, share, you know, to tag it, tag us, go to conversations with us and mum and tag the reels about this, especially on Friday, the 18th using the hashtag DLD day. Is that what it was? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Official hashtag. Yeah, excellent. And where's the best place to connect with you? Well, my favorite channel is Instagram. So my handle is dot stripe UK. And I'm a marketing consultant for the children's activity sector, of which we're having another conversation about at some point, I'm sure, about how the sector has changed. To really step forward in terms of accessibility. Because in many cases we are seeing children before they even go to school. And yeah, we have a responsibility as business owners, as marketers, and to. Make our sessions as accessible as an, and inclusive as possible. Definitely. So important. Absolutely. And that's, that's the thing, you know, all of those things that you just shared for like schools and stuff for children's activity providers as well. That's going to make it more accessible because it is often. You know, the rules, rules, confusing, confusing, you know, all of those things that a child may just be sitting there like, I didn't know what to do in this activity because, there's not been that breakdown of simple instructions. So yeah, definitely we will chat further about it. We've got so much more to talk about. Thank you so much for joining us today and thank you to Tamara for speaking with me and sharing about that. So remember dLD day, Awareness Day, and I will see you next Wednesday for another lovely chat with a lovely guest.